well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
