I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
