Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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