You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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