He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
