i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
