Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
