is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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