Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
