What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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