also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
