That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
