I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
