So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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