Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Pants are for mortals
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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