Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
