Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
