Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
