I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
