I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I believe in your delicious
My feet surprised me
Randomize
