you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
