you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
