and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just google imaged poop.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
