Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
