Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
