It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
