...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
