I got chris browned last night
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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