i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
