He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
