So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
