Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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