Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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