Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
