u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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