I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
