she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
