Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
