can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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