what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
