We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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