nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
