I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
