then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
