This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
