Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
