is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
