ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
