I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
