ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
