He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
