my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
